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TRANSFORm your life by reclaiming your freedom & inner power
Online Course
module 4
CRossing the threshold:
shifting gears​
AUdio introduction + Workbook
BLOCK 1: OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE
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Keep on doing the work.
Do the turning around exercise of module 2.
Keep on journaling on those beliefs.
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Taking responsibility
In order to move forward there is one more thing we have to do first: taking responsibility. For what we can control and for what we cannot control.
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This is important as from now on you are taking steps forward into your future. From now on, only what you can control can be taken with you.
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Bestseller author Steven Covey created the circle of influence, to make visible what you are and are not in control of. Fill out your own circle in the next exercise.
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WORKBOOK EXERCISE 02
Steven Covey's circle of influence​
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Proceed to exercise 02 in your module 4 workbook.
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Shifting gears
Look how far you have traveled in 3 weeks. You became aware of your old stories and how they hold you back, you made an inventory all of your limiting beliefs and chose not to believe them anymore, you opened up to become more YOU and in letting yourself be seen.
Very valuable, beautiful and transforming.
But the real key, the real transformation lies in owning your newfound beliefs. In implementing them outside of the sacred space I hold for you in this program. Outside of the space you hopefully hold for yourself now.
You have to get out there now. On the playground. A rough and barren ground. Where the game is being played. A tough game, a game with impressive opponents, that try to knock you down and take their win over yours. A game with fans that are only there when you win and play the game by the rules they know. A game where you might need to switch teams or go solo. Your life.
You know as well as I do that it is not always going to be easy, following your own spark. And yet it is so worthwhile. And it will also get easier, for it will soon become your second nature.
That is what these second half of chapters are about: how to cross the threshold. You said yes. You felt the call. But now what to do....
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That is what I am going to help you with in this chapter and the next ones.
I will show you that you do not even have to be ready.
The only thing you have to do is jump.
I will help you to get out of your comfort zone and take that first step. If you feel ready, it can be a giant leap, but a small baby step is also a move forward. Anything goes, as long as you go.
I will show you how to push through even when you are afraid. I will teach you the science behind new behaviours, as understanding these will give you the key to break with your old ones. And I will give you the keys to start taking inspired action and pushing forward so you can manifest the life you want.
So, are you ready for the leap?
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Checkup: beliefs
First, let's do a checkup.
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The last 3 weeks we have been working on your beliefs and how to replace them. Now is the moment to do a checkup on what is still holding you back, but also to celebrate your progress.
Before we start to manifest, let's do a short journaling exercise in your workbook on what beliefs you have let go and what beliefs still need your attention.
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WORKBOOK EXERCISE 01
Journaling revisiting your beliefs​
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Proceed to exercise 01 in your module 4 workbook.
If you have not printed it do so now, or use your own notebook.
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And now, I believe you ARE ready to shift those gears!
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Showing up​
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“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results."
Einstein
DISCLOSURE: From now courage is required. And you will not know where you end up.
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I repeat: you will not.
And this 'not knowing' is going to be your new standard.
And that probably is a bit of a shock to you if you have always lived 'as you should' and
'according to plan'.
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But something better is waiting for you at the other side, through the looking glass.
If you keep on coming back to your intuition, your alignment, your innate knowing of what feels good and what is your path. If you keep on allowing your feelings and use them as your compass. If you start to work from ease, from what comes easy for you, you will reach a state of flow. And that state of flow tells you your direction is right. You will start to feel (and recognise) a sense of pure righteousness.
A sense that what you are doing is plainly the right thing. No matter what other people, your current circumstances or temporary uncertainty tell you.
The 'not knowing' is all part of the process.
Without the 'not knowing' you will not get anywhere new. You will stay in your same old spot.
And yes. In making this shift, you might switch careers, leave your day job to become an entrepreneur or even end your relationship. You might break with people. You might lose friends that cannot handle you having ‘changed’. You might lose your mindset altogether and replace it with a much better one.
Or...
Everything will finally fall into place and you will find all the love, happiness and recognition you wanted. Anything you have always desired.
Anything can happen and probably will (not overnight though, it's a process, for some years). You have to be open to that.
To be honest, in showing up I’ve lost my complete world view over the past 10 years.
Does it bother me? No. I’ve replaced it with a much more sustainable, hopeful and gentle one. One that fills me up and nurtures me. That makes me love myself and others deeper. That explains most of the big questions I had since I was a child. A worldview of love and peace and hope and light.
I don’t watch tv anymore, I cannot see the news without crying and I feel the aggression and violence of tv shows and films much more than before. I will not eat most things from a regular supermarket anymore and (most of the time) I do not allow my children to. I cannot talk about the things that interest me anymore with most of my acquaintances (quantum physics and angels anyone?).
But I have found new and inspiring media that match my hunger for information. A supportive sisterhood through Instagram. A wholesome approach to food and newly acquired tastes. I experience more connection with the people I love. And I notice that people -clients and friends- are inspired by my actions and are taking steps themselves.
To me, that is fulfilling. And I do not want to go back to who I was 10 years ago, because I am finally myself.
You would not have been here, following this course if you wanted things to stay the same.
You would not have invested your money.
You were guided to do this course because you want to follow your own spark.
And now it is time to show up.
It is ok if you are scared. It is ok if you are not fully prepared yet to take the steps you have to, the steps you know you should but are to hard now to face.
We will go out of your comfort zone bit by bit and start by taking baby steps.
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Doing something Different
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"A comfort zone is a beautiful place,
but nothing ever grows there"
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It is a simple and plain truth, but a very profound one too: if you keep on doing what you always did, you keep on getting what you always got.
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Former business partners of mine, Professors Ben and Karen Fletcher did years of research about positive behaviour change (www.dsd.me).
The reason why it is so hard to change for people is that we are habit machines. Most of us use only 1/10th of our personality. 90% of what we do is waiting to be unlocked. Can you imagine the possibilities!!
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We simply do a lot of the things we do on autopilot.
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Sometimes that is a good thing. With bodily functions like breathing or your heart pumping, simple tasks like driving a car or walking. It is convenient that we do not have to think about how to take the next step with our leg.
At other times we do things on autopilot that are not necessarily good for us but hard to break, like smoking, eating cookies, complaining or our belief systems.
We are stuck in a chain of habits. We just do most things we do because… well, we have always been doing them that way. We seem to have no control over stopping that behaviour.
It is so hard to do something new, because the old behaviour is a program in your head, stuck on repeat.
Neuroscience shows that a habit, like an addiction or a certain behaviour forms a neural pathway in our brains, a pathway worn out by repeating this behaviour over and over.
If you want to start new, more supportive behaviours, you have to create a new neural pathway. If you star a new behaviour and keep on practicing this, a new pathway froms, the old one fades away, and you have a new routine.
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An example: say, every evening, you sit on your couch eating cookies and you really want to stop this habit. If you keep on sitting on your coach without the cookies, it is really hard to change this behaviour, because you keep on thinking about the cookies: something is missing. If you decide to take a walk every evening after dinner, you will not be reminded of your old behaviour so much, making it easier for you to stop eating cookies.
So creating new supporting habits is crucial to your success.
It is also true that once you become more aware of your autopilot, you can much easier recognise it, switch it off and create a more positive habit.
And this is how change happens.
Let's practice with coming out of your comfort zone and trying out new behaviours with the next exercise.
WORKBOOK EXERCISE 03
Out of your comfort zone​
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Proceed to exercise 03 in your module 4 workbook.
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BLOCK 2: READY, SET, ACTION
Start before you are ready
The secret of why not many people follow up on their dreams is simply this:
They never start.
It can be daunting. Change is hard.
You will keep thinking about how hard it will be, or how difficult, or start doubting if you are ready, gain more clarity on what it is you want, or follow one more training first, have one more certificate, permission from your surroundings, the list goes on.
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But instead, if you just decide to do it, you are at least on your way.
This is the principle of starting before you are ready.
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As a matter of fact, you will never completely feel ready unless you START DOING. This is your programming again.
Your mind telling you it is not SAFE.
Your fight or flight modus telling you to FLIGHT.
That first you need to be further, better, richer, thinner, more experienced....
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The truth is: if you do not start today, you probably never will.
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If you keep on going over it mentally, you are about to run into fears and other limiting beliefs again. The way I have always kept myself from procrastinating and just take the leap if there was something I really wanted but was afraid, was just doing it.
Remember Brené Brown’s Ted talk and the story of the dragon and the knight from module 3: it is never about waiting for the fear to pass, about the fear not being present anymore. The key lies in ACCEPTING that you feel your fear or limiting belief but doing it ANYWAY.
"You have to choose courage of comfort, but you cannot have both"
Brené Brown
So either you are feeling not completely ready, you are feeling the fear and doing it anyway or you are not going to do it at all. You choose.
Do you want to know what only 1% (!!) of the people put into practice?
This inspiring video makes very clear what I mean.
The secret of taking small steps
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"Most people overestimate what they can accomplish in one year,
but they underestimate what they can accomplish in a decade"
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Tony Robins
Change can be overwhelming.
The reason why 99% (!) of people fail to reach their goals is that they think their goal is so big, they do not think starting to achieve it will make a difference, so they do not even try or they start without truly believing and give up along the way. Other people want something else but do not know EXACTLY what it is, so they keep on going around in circles. Not starting prevents the disappointment, the shame of not succeeding, the ‘told you so’s’, your big hope crashing down and you feeling worse than before you even started. That is why it is so challenging to most people.
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But you are going to push through that.
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By now, it is probably clear to you that you have to do something different to get something different. You know you have to just start. You know it is ok to start before you feel ready and you know you have to go out of your comfort zone for it.
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But there is another secret:
Change does not have to seem so overwhelming if you break it down in small doable chunks. Focus on the next baby steps only and do not worry about the end result, Just commit yourself to small, steady progress.
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Your next step will be cracking the code to getting things done. You are going to break your dream, your soul mission, your goal into small sizeable chunks. If the sheer size of what you want is too overwhelming, too big, yet too unclear, you break it down in small doable steps. Then it will not seem so overwhelming anymore.
Say, you wanted to write a book.
A completely finished and edited 500 pages thick novel might seem overwhelming if you have not written one single letter yet. But if you start by having some clue about what your subject is and you commit yourself to start writing one page per day, every day, in the end, you will have your book.
You will probably get more inspired and enthusiastic along the way. New ideas will start to spring to your mind and suddenly all information, plots, titles, how-to’s and handy information seem to come to you -because what you give attention to grows.
Remember the Chinese saying that the Great Wall was not built overnight. It was built brick by brick. All you have to do is place that first brick. And keep on doing that. Every day.
WORKBOOK EXERCISE 04
5 small steps
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Proceed to exercise 04 in your module 4 workbook.
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By consistently devoting yourself to your desired end result, you will eventually realize your dreams.
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Keep on reviewing your process.
Three months from now, it might not seem much what you have accomplished. Until you think back to the moment you are in now. Then you will see how far you have come. Imagine how you will feel one year from now!
Don't forget to look back and reward yourself from time to time.
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Procrastination
Taking small steps has another benefit: it saves you from procrastination.
We all know this feeling and we have all been there: postponing and keeping on postponing what we know we have to do.
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Sometimes we procrastinate because we do not look forward to or even dread what we have to do. You have probably experienced that the longer you wait, the more dreadful it gets. Until you finally choose to do it. The relief is great and most times you are left with a surprised feeling of ‘was this all it took?’
Other times we procrastinate because we have no focus and even though we want to do something, we are busy with so many things going on in our lives, that we return to -yes- our autopilot again, our wish or plan moves to the background and we go on with life as usual.
And sometimes we simply do not know where to start. If we do not know what to do next we usually fall back into autopilot mode and forget about it for a while. Until it comes back up again. And again.
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Having a set of 5 simple small actions ready gives you direction, clarity, and focus.
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BLOCK 3: MANIFESTING YOUR DREAMS
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Inspired action
Now that you are committing yourself to taking small action every day, you are tapping into manifesting. No other thing is required of you but to trust the process and be open to guidance.
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We are so programmed to have to know it all before we start in this society. We need all the evidence, all the scientific proof, all the success stories of others, so we can be ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN that we will succeed.
Well, if you start working with your purpose and your dreams it just does not work that way. This process -and any other kind of heart-based matters too- is a completely different field.
It is a process of allowing, surrendering, following your intuition, of taking illogical steps even. It is a process of going right, where everybody you know would go the left. Just because you FEEL you have to follow that direction.
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It is called inspired action.
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Inspired action is when you feel a strong inner urge to do something. Sometimes even without knowing why or where it leads to. Doing something that brings you closer to your dream. Usually, it reveals the next step you have to take towards your goal.
It can be an idea, a clear inner question popping up, things that keep on returning to you, a gut feeling or a sudden epiphany.
Just be open to whatever guidance and follow up on them.
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Become a magnet
A lot has been written about the Law of Attraction, the famous book & film 'The Secret' being the most famous (and most experts claim it also the worst and most materialistic) example.
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As complicated as it can get, what is the basics are is that you can manifest your dreams by programming your mind to achieve what you want to, by following these steps:
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You first ask (set your intention)
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You believe (focus your attention)
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You act (take inspired action)
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Then you receive (reach your goal)
I am a firm believer that we create our own reality (you can read my blog about how we create everything in our lives). Most of the process of manifesting is actually what we have been doing in module 3 and in this module, even though I never think of it that way.
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As for the 'receiving' part: it is important that you start feeling AS IF you are already there. Feeling like you would feel if you had accomplished your goal, are living your dream life, already are doing what it is you want to do. Feeling like you want to feel. Visualising it. Then you are becoming a magnet for the things you want to manifest in your life.
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You know what the most important tool is for the ‘receiving’ part of manifesting your dreams? It is gratitude. With gratitude, you tap into the higher vibrational feelings of receiving what it is you want.
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An attitude of gratitude
Try to practice gratitude daily. It is such a powerful tool. By being grateful, you are sending signs to the universe that say: I like this, please send me more of this!
If you practice gratitude, just take something in your mind that you are grateful for. It can be something existential like your life, your loved ones. It can be your progress, even as little as taking one first step today, material things like your new dress or that it is a sunny day. It does not matter, as long as you really FEEL your gratitude. This is key. And the more things you find to be grateful for, the more you vibrate with the expectancy of what you want to manifest and the more things to be grateful for will find their way into your life.
At home, I try to teach my children gratitude by asking each one of them during dinner what the nicest thing was that happened that day and what it is they are most grateful for today. Most of the times it is my 6-year-old daughter that leads the intervention (-:.
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I also like the idea of having a 'gratitude jar', where each day you put in a small piece of paper with a note of what you are grateful for that day. Most people open it at the end of the year to reread.
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Your inner power
This week you have learned to truly tap into your inner power when it comes to fulfilling your dreams and soul purpose. You now know that the key lies in getting started, in keeping on doing and in taking inspired action.
I’d like to close this week with a gratitude meditation.
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