I come from a place where, once born a dime, you would never ‘become’ a quarter. Or so the saying goes in The Netherlands. I decided at a very young age however, that my life would be different. When I was older I did create a more comfortable living for myself. Still my childhood stories and beliefs found their way into my subconsciousness.
I settled into my early working life. I had a student loan to pay off, made a habit of never paying my bills quite in time and being overdrawn was my financial status quo. I loved my credit card. Later, I became a bit wiser, paid my loan off and told the bank no more credit limit for me, thank you very much. In running my own business, I always generated ‘enough’ to live my life, pay my vacations, buy nice clothes, have a social life. But never ‘more than enough’, never ‘plenty’, never ‘abundant’. And while that would perhaps have been enough, I wondered why that was.
unintentionally I stayed a dime for much longer than I realised
‘Have you even just once asked for more money?’
My coach asked me when I talked with her about it. She meant had I ever asked the universe. Which I never had. Why? Because I was still largely unaware that abundance was something you could set intentions for. Perhaps the thought that -for me too- abundance was available had never crossed my mind. And to be frank: I think most women have this problem in general: we don’t ask for more money (or time, or love!), we are bad at negotiating. We don’t ask for more money from our bosses, not from our clients and not from the universe. It is because of this we earn less than men. But that is perhaps another blog post.
My insight came a few months later.
When my company ran into the umpteenth economic crisis (Hey, we started in 2005!), something strange happened. Our phones just stopped ringing. Our inboxes stayed empty. It was like someone decided to unplug us. A very silent 15 months followed. No business whatsoever was coming in. Nothing. In the first months we were fine. We just hung in there. We had been there before. Always at the last moment we would be saved by the bell and a new project would manifest and then business would return as usual. But this time… nothing. After several months we had to make a decision: stop the business or go on without a salary, investing in what we believed in -our new approach for meaningful events on health, happiness and connection- or calling it Jim. We chose the first.
The lessons I learned. Even though it was a rough time, that afterwards we decided we would never want to repeat, I learnt some very valuable lessons. I suddenly noticed how I had kept myself small not only financially, but in general. I became aware of how often I thought in terms of lack and not having enough. I did a meditation on money blocks once and of the 24, I had about all of them: fear of imperfection (anyone?), fear of numbers, family blocks, blame, you name it!
the 8 lessons I learned about abundance
1. ABUNDANCE IS NOT ABOUT MONEY. Aiming for abundance is not some kind of The Secret trick to make you richer. Abundance is about having enough. Enough money, time, self-worth, love, health, inspiration, joy, business ideas, flow. Everything positive really. But mostly it is about trust. Trusting you will always have enough. Trusting not that everything will be, but already is ok.
2. IT IS EITHER SCARCITY OR ABUNDANCE. We all have either a scarcity mindset or an abundance mindset. Your thoughts involve either 'lack’ (I don’t have enough time, money, love…) or ‘enough’. And no offence, but most people do have the scarcity mindset. The good thing is that once you know, and you actively start noticing the thoughts that run into your mind, the awareness alone will start to change them.
3. ABUNDANCE IS ENERGY. Quantum physics proves that everything is energy. So is abundance. It is the vibration of the things you think, feel, the way you talk about having enough or lacking. Scarcity is the energy of lack, need, worry. Abundance is the energy of happiness, of joy, of luck, of gratitude. You can feel the difference of the two vibes, if you tune into it. If you have an attitude of scarcity, you will never attract abundance. If you think abundant thoughts, you will attract abundance.
4. SCARCITY IS INHERITED. There are many patterns (the 24 abundance blocks, I will write an article about that later) that come from our childhood. Even if your parents were not poor, time might have been scarce. Or health. A feeling of not being enough. Lacking love perhaps. Most of the time, these patterns are inherited at a very young age (0-7 years). Our parents have inherited their scarcity mindset too. And if we do not heal our patterns, we bring them on to our children.
5. OUR SOCIETY IS BASED ON SCARCITY. Hunger in the world, lack of safety on the streets, millions of people migrating from their countries, health epidemics, poverty, the very resources of our earth. Money at the same time is often related to greed and evil. Scarcity is everywhere. The general mindset is that you have to work hard to make money, or to make things work in life.. No one has time. In a world like this it is very easy to rely on scarcity instead of abundance. But before we can change things, it is vital that we start to heal our own inner world first.
6. ABUNDANCE IS CONNECTED TO WORTH. We think we have to be worthy of things like being loved or being rich. And if we are, we feel entitled. Because ‘we are worth it’. We value people that are better off as more worthy. At the same time we don’t value our time and we give it away to Facebook. But the truth is that everyone is worthy. Starting to invite abundance into your life is first looking into your feelings of worthiness. Feeling worth enough to receive.
7. ABUNDANCE IS A CHOICE. Once you have connected with the energy of abundance and your self-worth, you can tune into it and work actively on staying in that vibe. You have to believe it. Feel it. Think it. Speak it. Never speak in terms of ‘I don’t have enough money, time, love’ again, but speak and feel as if what you want is already there. Speak not about what you are lacking, but about what you want to attract. Visualise it.
8. ABUNDANCE ATTRACTS ABUNDANCE. It takes practice, but once you start putting in effort, more of what you want to attract comes to you. If you start to make time for yourself, more time will appear, or time will appear to go slower, so you will be able to do more in less time. Abundance is about sharing. It means you rely on that there’s plenty for later. The universe reacts to that and does give you more for later.
Plugged back in. As for my business. I told the universe many times: ‘Ok. I get it. I’ve learned my lessons now. Please plug back in the phone’. Still it took some more months. Then one day, the phone started ringing again. Emails came in. Not one, but 3 requests for new events in one week! We did get plugged in again, I guess. I can’t explain it any other way.
These months of lack taught me to transcend my stories about lack. I am still a student. I fall back many times and have to remind myself every day of the abundant nature of things. To trust that there will always be enough takes a leap of faith. But I have not felt like a dime for ages and already became a quarter years ago. Now my goal is not only to become a one hundred or a one million, but to become infinite.
So what is your mindset?
What are the stories you tell yourself? If you take an honest look inside, do you attract abundance? Or scarcity? Do you have enough (time, love, money)? Do you often think in terms of lack? Does scarcity keep you from following your dreams? if only I had more money than I would…? If only I had time I would… ? If you start answering these questions your issues around scarcity will start to resolve and you will be able to access your greatest life.
I will write more about abundance blocks and changing your mindset in my blog and upcoming online programs, as I feel it is a key to doing the things you want to do most in life. Subscribe to get a notice when there’s updates.