TRANSFORm your life by reclaiming your freedom & inner power
THE STORY OF YOU:
HOW WHERE YOU COME FROM DOESN'T DEFINE YOU
AUdio introduction + Workbook
Are the two most powerful words.
For what you put after them defines you.
BLOCK 1: What's your story, morning glory
Before we will dive into your story, let me tell you mine.
I believe that our biggest challenge become our biggest gift.
By explaining my story, you will understand why I do what I do. What lessons I took from it and why I feel these lessons are so important.
It is despite my not so easy childhood, that I always kept on dreaming.
Even more so, it is probably because of it that I had the need to do so. And for that I am grateful.
I come from a disadvantaged childhood as they call it.
It is not that I was not physically or sexually abused, but perhaps emotionally so. Though there were times I had to run for my father, a deeply troubled, aggressive and opinionated man. His issues stemming from his own childhood. My mother grew up as the afterthought in a very orthodox Christian family with a strict and austere father. It left her a very insecure, frightened woman, stuck in an unhappy marriage to my father.
We were living in one of the most backward part of my country with the highest rates of unemployment. The general outlook in this region was that of pessimism and things like sophistication and higher education were frowned upon. When my father became unemployed when I was 13 we became one of those families living on social welfare.
For most of I childhood, I felt insecure. I felt less than others. I was told often that ‘this is not for our kind of people’ or that ‘that was for other people to have, not for us’.
My clothes were either sewn by my mother or from the local budget store. I still feel out of place entering high end boutiques.
It took me years to normally enter a non-discount supermarket.
I taught myself table manner and was laughed at it at home.
I used television to teach myself to speak in a civilized manner and I was frowned upon for it.
I was told often that I was nothing, and that nobody ever wanted to listen to a youngster like me.
I started taking up my mother’s role and protecting my family around 6 or 7.
I advised my parents to go to family counselling at 8 and told my mother to get a divorce when I was 10 (which she still, up to this day has not done).
I have always known my parents love me. But neither of them ever learned how to give unconditional love. I never felt completely safe and as a child. Nor did I feel heard or seen for who I am. Sometimes I still feel judged and not good enough as a daughter.
But, from being a small child on, I felt an enormous inner power. I have always intuitively known that I was destined for another life. Secretly I visualized another life and dreamt about the day I was old enough to start my own life. That saved me and proved to be my biggest power. I think I was unconsciously learning how to manifest.
I have always known there was more. I was lying in my bed thinking about the expansiveness of the universe and about evolution. About infinity, about what more was there that we could not see. About healing properties of people. The possibility of past lives. Quantum physics and the meaning of life. And about whether life was destiny or faith. I decided I believed I had my own faith in my hands and I would make the most of it. No matter my story. No matter my beliefs. I would push through and become who I wanted to become. And I did.
I am still doing it.
It is not that after my decision to take my faith in my own hands life got easy. It is not that I did not stand in my own way. That I did not hold myself back or did not run into beliefs and fears.
On the contrary: I ran into all beliefs you can possibly think of. Because of my story I lacked self-esteem. I ran into beliefs about not being good enough, about being too much, about having to work harder than others. I felt fear, shame, guilt, you name it. But because of my decision to take my faith into my own hands, I never let my beliefs stop me.
Sometimes it took a few months or even years. I let my head hang down, or let my low self-esteem get the best of me for a while. Felt guilty for another one’s lack of happiness.
Told myself something was not for me, but for other people.
But each time I realized it was just a belief, I chose to cross the threshold. Move past it.
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
I took intuitive training to clear my beliefs at deeper levels, learned from the best for years. Read all the books. Meditated. Gathered valuable tools and learned what works best for me.
Because I had to fight, I noticed so many people giving up.
Because I had to get out of my comfort zone to succeed, I noticed so many people not daring to.
Because I struggled with self-worth and limitations, I see others being held back by them.
And because of my story, what I have to share is my gift.
I am, the two most powerful words
So, how about you?
I am sure your story is quite different from mine. We all have our unique stories. The stories that shape our lives. We use our stories to define who we are.
We tell ourselves, I AM....
And what we put after those two words, become the things we tell ourselves and others over and over.
What stories do you tell yourself most often?
What do you put after those important words I AM?
I am worthy?
I am loved?
I am plenty?
I am beautiful?
I am unlimited?
Or is it more often:
I am afraid?
I am not enough?
I am not worthy?
I am to be blamed?
I am ashamed?
I am too much?
I am guilty?
I am limited?
What are your beliefs about yourself? What do you tell yourself every day?
Do you talk to yourself like you would to your best friend? With friendliness? Compassion? Understanding and support? Are you your own biggest fan? Or do you beat yourself up? Tell yourself all these negative things? Are you perhaps your own worst criticist?
Would you honestly talk to your best friend like you would to yourself?
WORkbook exercise 01
Whether you are new to journaling or you already use it often, journaling is a great tool for exploring your inner thoughts and understanding yourself.
Journaling helps you to release the clutter in your head. Thoughts and emotions that you were not consciously aware of can come to the surface. It helps to establish a better relationship with yourself. It is healing and cleansing.
In this program we will use journaling as an important tool to find out who you truly are and what it is you truly want from life.
When journaling, have the following in mind:
Find a comfortable spot where you will not be disturbed. To feel relaxed and in your own space, you can light a candle and burn some incense or essential oils (geranium essential oil is great for writing!). You can either use the workbooks included with every module or use your own notebook. Make sure it is a pretty one, for positive energy.
Remember you are only writing for yourself, so do not hold back.
It is safe to feel. Just be open. Let everything that wants to come out come out. It might be painful or scary, but in the end it will be healing and insightful.
If you haven't done so please print it out, or use your own notebook.
Words don’t hurt
Words don't hurt.
Haven’t we been told that many times?
Well actually, words do hurt. But words can heal too.
Have a look at this video that meant a massive awakening to me some 10 years back.
Indeed, if our bodies consist of 70-80% of water, imagine what the effect of words can have on us! After seeing this, it is not so hard to believe that negative self-talk can make us sick. But also, how positive words can heal us.
An important lesson is how to switch from negative to positive self-talk.
The first step is awareness.
I see it like we have a radio in our head that is constantly on a channel broadcasting the same program (and it is actually a program, a brain program) over and over. Our stories, our beliefs, our fears. We have become so used to the chatter of this radio channel, that most of the time we are not even aware of it. And most of the time, this radio is only playing in the background, in our subconsciousness. We are not mostly unaware of the things we tell ourselves.
Becoming aware of this constant radio channel in our heads. Without blaming yourself, without judgement, just noticing.
Then just make the active decision to turn down the volume. Put the radio out. Switch to another, more positive channel.
Next time you notice yourself thinking something, rethink.
And decide what you fill in after 'I am'.
Learn to be kind and compassionate towards yourself.
Watch the full documentary here (1h25min) if you want to know more
Feeling your feelings
Besides becoming aware of what you think, becoming aware of what you feel is also key to finding out what holds you back.
Only after I started intuitive training, I became aware that there were a lot of feelings I did not really feel. I just hid them away. I did not allow myself to feel. Everytime they came up, I just put them back into their box. I was amazed to find out there were also a lot of feelings I felt that were not even mine. That I picked up from other people.
This was such an eye opener for me!
Getting to know my feelings, acknowledging them and validating them, identifying if they are mine or not has helped me a lot. With my self-esteem. With breaking through my beliefs. With getting in touch with my dreams and needs and. With growing my intuition.
Many spiritual teachers acknowledge -and modern science is beginning to discover this too- that emotions need to be lived through before they can resolve.
That does not mean we have to experience and re-experience them for hours and feel miserable. The suffering merely comes from either from attaching stories to pushing away the emotion.
If you you just sit with emotions as they come up (or at the first possible moment you have the privacy to do so) and are willing to really feel them, they are just that: emotions. The moment you attach stories to them, they start to live a life of their own and trigger all kinds of other thoughts and negativity.
You will start to notice that, once you sit with your emotion and simply breathe through it, it will pass and you will feel much lighter.
Emotions will resurface at another time if you decide to push them away. Over and over. Until the very moment you decide to process them, after which you can move on. Some emotions are stronger and more related to deeper beliefs. They will come up more often. Each time they come up, you let go more and more.
This tuning in exercise will help you to ground and tune in with your body and make you more aware of your emotions. Commit to doing this at least a few times, but preferably every day for week 1 of this course.
Fact: the average emotion lasts for a maximum of 90 seconds
WORkbook exercise 02:
Go to exercise 02 in your workbook for this week.
BLOCK 2: YOUR UNIQUE GIFTS
Why are you here?
I believe we are all here for a reason and that the key to happiness and fulfilment is to find out what it is that you have to share. What it is you came here to do.
I believe we all have a unique soul mission. Some people have known since they were a child what it is. For others it takes quite some soul searching.
If you were called to do this online course, I am quite certain that your soul mission is calling you.
Everyone on this planet is unique. You too are born with a special, unique toolkit of qualities. Certain skills, character traits, gifts, qualities and capabilities that you are better at than average or that you even excel at. You also have your unique energy signature. No one has this unique combination of what it is that makes you you.
The difficulty with knowing what your unique qualities are is that they are very hard to spot, because you do not experience them as unique yourself.
The things that you are good at come so easy to you, that you often do not realize how special they are. This is the reason that you have to pay attention to what comes natural and with ease for you.
We are programmed to believe that making a career, doing what we love requires effort. Sacrifice. Hard work.
But what if you turn it around and can start to believe that finding your soul purpose and following your dream can actually be easy? Yes. It might take courage, that is a subject we will counter in week 3 of this course. But the key to following your own spark is following what comes with ease. What comes natural. That what brings you into flow. It is what Deepak Chopra calls 'The law of the least effort':
GRASS DOESN'T TRY TO GROW, IT JUST GROWS. FISH DON'T TRY TO SWIM, THEY JUST SWIM. FLOWERS DON'T TRY TO BLOOM, THEY JUST BLOOM. IT IS THE NATURE OF BABIES TO BE IN BLISS. IT IS IN THE NATURE OF THE SUN TO SHINE. AND IS IS HUMAN NATURE TO MAKE OUR DREAMS MANIFEST INTO PHYSICAL FORM, EASILY AND EFFORTLESSLY.
Deepak Chopra - The 7 spiritual laws of success
Perhaps you already know what it is you want to do. Perhaps you are still searching for your soul mission or life purpose. Perhaps you need an extra reminder. Either way, the next exercises can be insightful.
WORkbook exercise 03
Find out what your unique character strengths are.
Proceed to exercise 04 in your module 1 workbook.
WORkbook exercise 04
Your unique gifts
What is it that people always say about you.
Proceed to exercise 03 in your module 1 workbook.
BLOCK 3: HOLDING SPACE
GUIDED MEDITATION ON BEING YOU
This week, we've dived into your story and what it is you tell yourself. We have taken a look at why it is so important what language you speak to yourself. For your body, your beliefs and for your self-esteem. I offered you two tools to access your intuition and inner thoughts. You have made an inventory of what your qualities and your strengths are.
Remember that we are all equally important. Trees in a forest do not go around telling one tree it is less important than the others.
Whatever it is you want to do with your life, your mission is just to be you. To be you, you first have to allow yourself to be. To honour yourself and your story. To see the connection of the story of your life and where it has brought you today. To learn what lessons you can take from your story. To not let your story define you, but use it for the greater good. Make your pain your passion. Transform your challenges into your gifts. Hold space for yourself to do that. Make it your priority.
In the following week we will dive deeper into what stories you tell yourself and how your stories stop you from doing the things you want. I will show you how to create a new narrative. How to replace your old stories with more positive ones.
In week 3 we will then have a look at how you can become more and more yourself and focus on what it is you want.
For now let's close, holding space for yourself, with a short meditation I recorded.