TRANSFORm your life by reclaiming your freedom & inner power
THE ART OF LETTING GO:
DITCHING WHAT DOES NOT SERVE YOU
AUdio introduction + Workbook
BLOCK 1: What IS HOLDING YOU BACK?
What is holding you back?
Last weeks' module was about accepting our stories. About stopping to identify ourselves with it and allowing our emotions to be. This week we will dive deeper into honouring our emotions. More specifically, our limiting beliefs.
Limiting beliefs are the things we tell ourselves, deep down. A limiting belief can take the shape of a deep-held thought, fear, judgment, blame, shame, guilt or a feeling of 'not being good enough'.
These deeply embedded programs running in our minds. Sometimes deeply buried in our subconsciousness. Often it is one of these programs coming up, making us feel a certain way.
Our limiting beliefs and our fears are what hold us back. If we trace down your limiting beliefs, your fears, and your limitations and start taking them seriously, we will find the key to what is holding you back. For they are the gatekeepers to following your spark.
Remember the radio station from last week's module?
Some of your most empowering beliefs are broadcasted on the non-stop station. They are the positive, happy songs. But there’s a lot of crap too! Everything our parents told us (good and bad!), everything our high-school friends told us, that one hurtful remark by a teacher or a co-worker, all the stories we started telling ourselves since childhood.
Imagine the subconscious effect of all that! The things you tell yourself.
We are programmed to either judge or push away our own emotions. And our belief system is even more buried away. We are programmed to feel guilt and shame about how we really feel.
We feel guilty If we don’t feel love for someone we ‘should’ feel love for. Or for not making time for someone, because we need time for ourselves. We feel guilty if we feel negative emotions, such as becoming angry or upset. We feel ashamed for being who we are or guilty that we choose ourselves over others or when we have to disappoint someone. We expect ourselves to be perfect. Flawless, not making mistakes, not failing.
Some of the most common limitations are:
Not being good enough
Scarcity thinking: not having enough (love, money, time, skills)
Fear of failure
Fear of greatness
Every limitation that you have either:
Came from something you experienced in life (this is what we addressed last week in module 1)
Is fear. Everything is either fear or love (we will address this in block 2 of this module)
Let's investigate what your own limiting beliefs are.
What is holding you back? What is keeping you from what you really want?
What are the things you tell yourself that hold you back from doing the things you want? From living the life you want? Let's find out.
WORKBOOK EXERCISE 01
If you haven't done so please print it out, or use your own notebook.
We are actively aware of some of our beliefs. The things you run into over and over in your life. These you probably recognized while doing exercise 01. But many of our beliefs live in our subconsciousness. We are very clever at hiding them. One way to track them is to find out what are your allergies are. What annoys you most in others. The next exercise is helpful in tracking them down.
WORKBOOK EXERCISE 02
Turn it around
Key to success
Do you know what the difference between failure and success is?
It is not giving up.
"Maybe other people try to limit me, but I don't limit myself"
- Jim Carrey
I always find it inspiring to think about that many successful, world famous people would not have done the outstanding, excellent or difficult work they have done if they had listened to limiting beliefs of others or their own. That's why I like this video:
Perhaps you could ask yourself next time when you doubt yourself:
What would Steve Jobs do?
(or Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jordan, Walt Disney, The Beatles, Thomas Edison, J.K. Rowling, and so many others!)
Doing The Work
Knowing that you and only you hold a power over your beliefs gives you back your freedom. Writing down your beliefs brings them into daylight and into your consciousness. Once you 'look them in the eye' you will start to recognise your beliefs and you are on your way to healing them and letting them go.
What has helped me tremendously in my own journey is the work of Byron Katie.
Her story is truly inspirational.
In the midst of her ordinary life, Byron Katie entered a ten-year-long downward spiral into depression, agoraphobia, self-loathing, and suicidal despair. Every day she prayed not to wake up the next morning, and it was only because of her concern for her children that she didn’t kill herself. Finally, at the age of forty-three, she checked herself into an institution. One morning, after about a week, Katie had an epiphany and in that instant, the four questions of The Work were born. A tool for self-inquiry that, over the past thirtysomething years, has helped millions of people around the world begin to free themselves from stress, frustration, anger, and sadness.
If you don't know her books, check them out (affiliate link*).
Below exercise is from Byron Katie's The Work. I think it is one of the most valuable lessons of this course and I advise you to do it several times this week, for a few of your own limiting beliefs.
WORKBOOK EXERCISE 03
Now that you have brought into the light one of your self-limiting beliefs, you can start to release it as you no longer need it.
It takes time and conscious effort to work on each of the limiting beliefs that are holding you back, but you can work through any of them using this worksheet.
Just print it out every time for every belief you want to bust through.
BLOCK 2: FROM FEAR TO LOVE
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves,
'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?'
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory
of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
You are here to shine
This beautiful text above, from Marianne Williamson (replace 'god' by 'spirit', 'source', 'Allah', or something else if you like), makes clear what I truly believe:
We are all here to shine.
We all have a different light. But everyone has it. And we have come here to liberate ourselves from our (self-imposed) limitations and be free.
Two of the deepest fears of humans are not being good enough and not being loved.
But perhaps we are indeed even more afraid of what happens when we step into our power.
It is very common in our society -especially amongst women- to not dare shine your light, as in our society we are taught not to stick our heads out above the masses. To not be different. To just follow the masses. Act normal. Live an ordinary life. And if you dare to stick out, people will have an opinion about you. But try to accept that as a fact and remember it says something about them, not about you.
Before, I said that every limitation stems either from something you experienced in life or is fear.
In her book, 'A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of 'A Course in Miracles', Marianne Williamson discusses how there are only two emotions at the very basis. These are love and fear. They are the opposite of light and dark. And like with darkness, there is only an absence of light, fear is only an absence of love.
Everything you think, say, do, every action, every word or thought
either stems from fear or from love.
So when you can accept this piece of wisdom as a fact, you know that you always have a choice. You either choose from a place of fear. Or you choose from a place of love.
All negative emotions stem from fear.
You cannot have an open heart and a negative thought at the same time.
Let love rule
Why not let love lead you on your path forward. If you make a decision to choose love over fear each time, it can become your compass. Showing you the way to following your own spark.
Each time you want to make a decision out of fear, recognise it. If you are afraid to do something but feel you want to. If someone criticizes you and you want to give up, if you need to make an unpopular decision.
Turn it around by saying what you would do instead from a place of love. For me the following question has always been helpful:
What would I do if I wasn't afraid?
And mind you: it is love for youself that you need to choose for. If you do something against your gut feeling for another person, this is love under cover of a belief, like feeling guilty or not enough.
Now that you have replaced one your negative limiting beliefs with a positive, empowering one with the exercise Breaking Through, it is time to start anchoring it, to start believing your new thought in the next exercise for this week.
WORKBOOK EXERCISE 04
BLOCK 3: LET IT GO
Things to let go of
If you want to follow your own spark in life, there are things you have to let go.
Sometimes difficult things, as these are things we have learned to hold on to.
Here's a list of things I think are important to let go:
You don’t have to give up your story. As a matter of fact, you have to honour your story. What you do have to give up is your attachment to your story. The explaining of why you are in life where you are. The victim role.
You cannot remain small and be great at the same time. What you do to stop playing small is a decision to let yourself be seen and heard. No more hiding of your personality, your thoughts, ideas, opinions and actions. Just shine your light as brightly as you can.
Perfectionism tells you you can only do or be something if it is perfect. The truth is that no one is perfect and you are already as good as you are. By making mistakes we learn and by starting before we are completely ready we at least make sure we start at all.
If you start living from your heart, you will have to start trusting that things will work out fine. And whatever you pursue starts with one first step. In that first step, you do not know the outcome, but you do need to trust that that first step will bring you to the next step and then again the next. That is how dreams become a reality.
THE NEED TO BE LIKED
If you step out of the shadows into the limelight, there are always people that are not going to like what you are doing. You are changing, they are not. You are sticking your head out, shining your light. That reminds them of their own darkness. That is ok. Your energy will pull the right people in.
No more excuses. No more tomorrows, no more hiding behind reasons why not to start today. Every excuse is a limiting belief in disguise. Ask yourself: What would love do?
What I can let go
letting go meditation
Here's the one meditation I always use to let go of tensions, emotions, or energy in my body. I learned it years back during an intuitive training course and I've always used it since. The basis is the tuning in meditation we did last week, but this version takes you a bit further, up to where you energetically let go. I sometimes feel I am letting go of things I am not even aware of.
Letting Go Meditation
Forgiveness -oneself or others- has the power to transform. It is also one of the hardest spiritual practices. But it is also a rewarding practice. Without forgiveness, you continue to live your old stories and project them on your life now and your future.
Only forgiveness can set you free and lead you back to love. Forgiving does not mean that the person that did something to you should not be held accountable. Neither does it mean that they did nothing wrong. Forgiveness is not even for another person. It serves you. Forgiveness is primarily for yourself. To let go of what you have been carrying around for so long.
To release old stuff we have to let it go from our body, our systems, our thoughts, and our emotions. A wonderful practice that aids your process very much as it is healing and cleansing.
A very powerful meditation you can use, more like a little poem, is the Hawaiian Ho'oponopono.
WORkbook exercise 05
There is a special kind of meditation called 'Loving-kindness' that is scientifically proven to increase feelings of goodwill, kindness, and warmth towards others and yourself.
Research shows that Loving Kindness Meditation has a tremendous amount of benefits ranging from benefitting well-being to giving relief from illness and improving emotional intelligence.
When compassion, kindness, and empathy become our natural state, we become more caring and less judgmental to the world around us and to ourselves.
For this week, practice the loving-kindness meditation. As you practice it, forgive yourself for every time you have let yourself down. Forgive others that have imprinted their own beliefs on you (the meditation is recorded with an audience, but you are probably alone doing the meditation, imagine instead of your neighbour one of these others.
Walking your own truth - Embracing your authenticity - Tuning into who you really are
Energy work: learning how to trust your intuition - Discovering your goals and purpose -
Letting you unique strengths work for you
May I feel safe
May I feel content
May I feel strong
May I live with ease
This week and last week, we've dived into how important it is to feel your feelings, to trace and break through your limitations and then to let go of what no longer serves you.
Only when you can first embrace where you come from and release what no longer is of use can you become your authentic self. That is what the subject of Module 3 is: Becoming you: remembering who you are.
* my texts may contain affiliate links. That means that I may earn a percentage if you purchase something via my link. It will not cost you extra if you do. I will always mention this in my texts.